HOW TO FIND YOURSELF

“Observing yourself is the necessary starting point for any real change.” —Chalmers Brothers

In the past few months, I felt quite depressed and stressed with myself that I didn't know how to described. I felt space out, I felt that my mood swung really bad, I had a hard time to sleep well, and I couldn't channel my emotion. I felt empty and started to question myself, "Am I worth it? Am I remarkable?." I guess those questions pop up in my mind because I am such an overthinking person and that was the most frustrating and headache inducing part of overthinking action. But after I realized, I felt like this because of some reasons and I need to find a way to get rid of this feeling.

After doing some reflections and meditations, I finally understood why I felt this way. I'm not going to tell ya about my things right here but the point is I succeed to bring a good mood to myself again.  

So in this post, I am gonna share you some tips how to find yourself. To me, learning about identifying ourselves is something matter that we as human need to know. Of course you can use my tips if this is suitable for you but you can also use other tips if you don't find it right for you. Alright, let's get started!

Personality Test

People take personality test to help them verbalise who they are and obtain a deeper understanding of “self”. Understanding what makes us tick makes life a whole lot easier. For some it is a bit like getting the manual for that new surround sound system that you knew was great but never quite figured out how to work.

Believe it or not, personality test could help you to know your strength, weakness, and talent. There is a quote that I like when I read an article. "We cannot change our personality, but we can find people who look like us to chill." Sometimes there is a pit in our heart that want to change. We don't like ourselves because we think us boring so we tend to find a role model and follow them. But let me put aside of that quote. I'm going to  stress the matter in personality. If we really know ourselves, we can always accept ourselves with all the flaw we have.

Ask Yourself

Have you ever stood in front of mirror to see your reflection and tried to speak to yourself? Why am I so dumb? Why I cannot socialize with many people? Why am I too quiet? Why I have many flaws? You can let it out every single thing you want by then try to find a way to cope that feeling. Speaking to yourself is the best thing you can do to yourself. It could increase your self confidence and it could make you realise how actually good you are. Don't forget to always speak something good to yourself every single day. 

Spending Your Time Alone

For me, spending my  time alone means write the negative sides and positive sides of me on the paper and try to solve those matters. If I already knew about myself, I can learn how communicate better to myself and other people. Besides, spending my time alone can make me realise there are many good things I actually can do. What’s most important is that you are alone with your thoughts, but what you do is up to you.

Hanging Out With Different People

I know I know some of you might only have a small circle of friends. So do I! I know everyone like my classmate and others but appearantly I only say hi to them. I never have any intentions to go in  a deeper conversation because I already had my own group. But not only because of that. I hate small talk and even if I will do a small talk, I'll do it in a small circle of group.

If you don’t know yourself, hearing what your friends have to say about you is a helpful practice. Ask them two simple questions: “What strengths do you think I need to develop further?” and “What weaknesses do you think I need to work on?” Of course, their opinion isn’t going to be perfect, but their feedback will probably indicate a few areas you should at least take a second look at. This step is especially important for those who are stuck in finding themselves. Sometimes those closest to us can see something we might not be able to see in ourselves.

In conclusion, there are many advantages of learning how to find yourself. Such as, you will be easier to solve the problem, you'll be able to put yourself in a different situation, you can choose or create work that is aligned with you, and many more. 

But the most important thing is,

"Learn to love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you"

Because the greatest struggle in life is the struggle to accept, embrace and love ourselves, with all of our imperfections.  To be 100% honest about who we are, how we feel and what we need.  To stop discrediting ourselves for everything we aren’t, and start giving ourselves credit for everything we are.  And to be aware that not everyone we love will agree with us every step of the way, and to be OK with it.